I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
