because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
