I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
