I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
