Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize