in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
