Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
