Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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