I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
