Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
