In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
