My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
