You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
