Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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