you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
