just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
