ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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