he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
