Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
