you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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