she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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