At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is Oprah even human
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
