When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
