Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
