So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
