It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
