My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
