She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
