just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
