Swine flu is the new snow day.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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