what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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