it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
