I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
