Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
