There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
