I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
