problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
