So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
