I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
