Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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