Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
