spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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