Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
