things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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