Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
