i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
