Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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