you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need a beard to bite.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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