I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
