$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
