There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
sex in a hospital.. check
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
