i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
