they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
