So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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