actually, I'm a sock model
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
