I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
