At least make sure they are 18
Why
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
