so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
